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Funny Quotes about Life

December 15th, 2011

This post has only one reason for existing: to share funny quotes about life.

These quotes are:

  1. All humorous.
  2. About life.

Here are the quotations:

“Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering – and it’s all over much too soon.” -Woody Allen

“Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.” -Woody Allen

“Nothing matters very much, and very few things matter at all.” -Arthur Balfour

“People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.” -Dave Barry

“The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time.” -John Barrymore

“It’s possible, you can never know, that the universe exists only for me. If so, it’s sure going well for me, I must admit.” -Bill Gates

“Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, ‘You’re only interested in one thing,’ and you can’t remember what it is.” -Milton Berle

“The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.” -Erma Bombeck

“I’ve been accused of vulgarity. I say that’s bullshit.” -Mel Brooks

“Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on”. -Samuel Butler

“I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.” -Janeane Garofalo

“Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.” -Brendan Gill

“My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can.” -Cary Grant

“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it.” -Jack Handey

“You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” -Bob Hope

“Life is a sexually transmitted disease and the mortality rate is one hundred percent.” -R. D. Laing

“Outside of a dog, a book is your best friend, and inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.” -Groucho Marx

“Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.” -Will Rogers

“Everything has been figured out, except how to live.” -Jean-Paul Sartre

“I think I’ve discovered the secret of life – you just hang around until you get used to it.” -Charles Schulz

“Suppose the world were only one of God’s jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one?” -George Bernard Shaw

“The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you’re still a rat.” -Lily Tomlin

“Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.” -Mark Twain

“Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.” -Mark Twain

“There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.” -Oscar Wilde

“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” -Oscar Wilde

“I put all my genius into my life; I put only my talent into my works.” -Oscar Wilde

“The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.” -Oscar Wilde

“Nothing succeeds like excess.” -Oscar Wilde

Check the word play category at GoGuides.org if you’re interested in this sort of humor.

Posted in Humor, Quotations | No Comments »

Country Music Love Songs

December 14th, 2011

There are more country music love songs out there than just the pseudo pop stylings of Shania Twain or the silly nonsense that Billy Cyrus calls music. Here’s a list of country music love songs from a wide variety of artists, organized by decade.

Country Music Love Songs of the 1930′s

You might argue that country music got its start in the 1920′s, and you’d be right. But the first true country music love songs were recorded in the 1930′s by Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys.  “Right or Wrong” and “San Antonio Rose” are both classic country love songs from this decade, and they’re both as fresh now as they were 75 years ago.

Country Music Love Songs of the 1940′s

Hank Williams was the king of country western love songs during the 1940′s. His hits “Lovesick Blues” and “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry” are still being covered by modern country singers. His simple and stark renditions still outshine the newer versions, too.

Country Music Love Songs of the 1950′s

Johnny Cash was one of the three big country music love song singers from the 1950′s. “I Walk the Line” and “I Still Miss Someone” are unforgettable.

People associate Elvis Presley with rock and roll, but he got his start singing what we’d now call rockabilly music, which is a kind of country western style. “Love Me Tender” is probably as well-known as any other country western love song.

And Hank Williams continued to record great ballads in the 1950′s, including “Cold, Cold Heart” and “I Can’t Help It if I’m Still in Love with You.”

Country Music Love Songs of the 1960′s

Patsy Cline and Roger Miller dominate this decade’s choices of country western love songs. Patsy Cline’s haunting “I Fall to Pieces” and “Crazy” still thrill country music fans. And Roger Miller’s version of “Little Green Apples” is unforgettable, while “Husbands and Wives” is still as profound today as it was when it was first recorded.

Country Music Love Songs of the 1970′s

The golden age of the country love song was the decade of the 1970′s.  There are too many good songs to count, and too many singers, but here are a few worth your attention anyway:

Singers and Songs

  • Freddy Fender – “Before the Next Teardrop Falls,” anyone? Or “Wasted Days and Wasted Nights?”
  • Anne Murray – “You Needed Me”
  • Ronnie Milsap – Too many songs to count, but I especially like “It Was Almost Like a Song”
  • Dolly Parton – For many people, and not just fans of country, “I Will Always Love You” is the greatest love song ever. And Dolly Parton WROTE this song, too.
  • Ray Price – “For the Good Times” was written by Kris Kristofferson, but it’s the Ray Price Version that most people think of.
  • Charley Pride – “Kiss an Angel Good Mornin’” is a just plain fun country music love song.
  • Charlie Rich – “Behind Closed Doors” is another classic.
  • Conway Twitty – Another singer who’s performed more great love songs than you could mention in a single sentence, but “Hello Darlin’” deserves special praise. That and “I’d Love to Lay You Down.”
  • Don Williams – What a crooner. “You’re My Best Friend” is my favorite from the Gentle Giant.

Country Music Love Songs of the 1980′s

The 1980′s were almost as great as the 1970′s. I’m especially fond of songs by Kenny Rogers from this decade, but other big hits include songs from Alabama, George Strait, Randy Travis, and Keith Whitley. Specific songs from the decade that stand out in my mind include “Don’t Close Your Eyes,” “Forever and Ever Amen,” “You Look So Good in Love,” “When We Make Love,” “Always on My Mind,” and “Feels So Right.”

Unfortunately, country western music took a turn for the worse in the 1990′s, and it hasn’t improved much. If you’re looking for good love songs in the genre from these two decades, look for deep cuts on albums by Willie Nelson and Dwight Yoakam, or find some information about Americana music, which is sorta like alternative country or “roots” country.

Posted in Entertainment, Leisure, Music | No Comments »

How to Cope with Gambling Addiction

June 17th, 2011

Advice for Problem Gamblers

Since we offer information on online gambling and information about subjects like slots and poker, I wanted to post links to some good online resources for those suffering from gambling addiction and related issues.

While this site wants to help responsible gamers enjoy their hobby free of governmental constraints, we also want to see those who cannot help themselves get the help they need and deserve. If you are a family member of someone you believe is dealing with problem betting, use these organizations and the links from their websites to learn more about how to help your loved one.

  • GamCare – Provides support, advice, and information for those suffering from gambling addiction.
  • Double Downer – Problem gambling assistance throughout the United States, with local chapters in many locations. Just click on the map to see the outfit nearest you.
  • Gamblers Anonymous – Information about compulsive gambling and how to cope with various issues stemming from gambling addiction. For both sufferers and their families.
  • Gambling Helpline – National free phone support for people suffering gambling problems in New Zealand. I wish all countries had this sort of service.
  • Alberta Gamblers Anonymous – Example of a good local chapter of GA. While you might not be a gambling addict in Alberta, you can read from their fine gambling addiction articles and use other resources on their site.

These are just examples of the websites and organizations which can help you cope with the consequences of problem gambling. If these don’t fit the exact needs you and your family have, keep searching until you find the information you need.

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Wool Dressing Gowns

June 16th, 2011

Wool Dressing Gowns

Who wears wool dressing gowns anymore? This is probably the wrong time of year to even consider writing about a subject like wool dressing gowns, because it’s the middle of summer, and if there’s one thing that a wool dressing gown is good for, it’s keeping you warm. And who needs to be kept warm this time of year?

Wool Dressing Gowns for Ladies

I tend to see ladies being more willing to wear wool dressing gowns than gentlemen. I’ve never seen a dressing gown for a lady that was simultaneously made of wool AND sexy at the same time. If you’re looking for functional, then ladies, yes, get the wool dressing gown. But if you’re looking for sexy, then buy a dressing gown that you’re only going to wear as a prelude to romance. Then change into something that’s literally more comfortable after you’re finished and ready to go to sleep.

Wool Dressing Gowns for Men

My kids make a lot of fun of me because I sometimes wear a nightshirt. I like pajamas, but I’ve gained a lot of weight in recent years, and the only pajamas I could buy that fit were these nightshirts. I guess to my kids, these look like gowns, because they tell me constantly that I look silly when I wear my “dress.”

At any rate, they might be old-fashioned, but they’re comfortable and enjoyable to wear if you can find one. Some people think that bathrobes are the same thing as dressing gowns, but it’s not QUITE the same thing.

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How Often Should You Wear Aftershave?

June 15th, 2011

How Often Should You Wear Aftershave?

So you want to know how often you should wear aftershave?

I’ve got a simple and commonsense answer to that dilemma.

You should wear aftershave every time you shave.

Aftershave isn’t primarily intended to make you smell good. It’s meant to condition your skin. If you just want to smell good, then bathe, wear deodorant, and apply some cologne. Aftershave has a different purpose, and the smell is secondary to that purpose.

What is the purpose of aftershave?

The purpose of aftershave is to soften and moisturize your skin. Shaving is hard on your skin. Let’s face it. You’re basically scraping your face with a very small, hopefully very sharp, knife. That can leave your skin irritated and dry.

Aftershave is what you use to soothe some of the damage you’ve done to your face. Think of it as being similar to the aloe vera gel that you apply to your skin when you have a sunburn.

Some aftershaves have alcohol in them. (Most of the less expensive, scented ones do.) You’d do well to avoid them, as they can make your skin feel taut. And they sting, which might make you feel really masculine after shaving, but it’s really unnecessary to have to go through that.

My recommendation for a good and affordable aftershave product? Neutrogena Post Shave Balm is excellent, and it’s affordable. Clinique also makes a variety of excellent skin care products, including after shave balm.

Posted in Advice, Beauty, Health | No Comments »

The Daniel Negreanu Annie Duke Poker Feud

June 14th, 2011

When it comes to feuds in the world of poker, few have been as public or as nasty as the one between Daniel Negreanu and Annie Duke. While the average player keeps his head down and spends time practicing or looking for advantages like online poker codes, these titans of the game have unleashed a repeated verbal torrent against one another.

Negreanu got the whole thing started when he told an unflattering story about an anonymous woman on an Internet forum in 2003. The identity of the individual was later revealed to be Annie Duke when her brother, fellow poker pro Harold Lederer, came to her defense in an open letter.

The feud between Duke and Negreanu has been raging ever since, with long periods of quiet interrupted by verbal tirades and tell-all books. The man known as “Kid Poker” has resorted to using the c-word to describe his nemesis, and he’s even brought her hygiene into question. While Negreanu’s antics haven’t endeared him to many, his accusations against Duke were partially validated when she appeared on Celebrity Apprentice and engaged in a nasty feud with co-star Joan Rivers.

If you like some drama to go along with your poker tournaments, be sure to keep an eye on Annie Duke and Daniel Negreanu. It may not be Frazier vs. Ali, but it’ll do in a pinch.

Posted in Entertainment, Leisure, Television | No Comments »

Hero System 6th Edition Basic Rules Review

June 13th, 2011

Hero System 6th Edition

I just finished reading through the Hero System 6th Edition rulebook last night. Not the big two volume set, which would take a long time to read through, but the basic rules, which is a smaller, 128 page version of the full rules. And I have to admit, I’m impressed.

I loved playing Champions as a teenager, but as I grew older, I started messing around with other games. (And girls, mostly girls, which cut into my gaming time quite a bit.) But Champions always seemed a little rules heavy and hard to teach. But this new version of the rulebook makes it pretty easy to understand.

The Hero System 6th Edition rulebook is well layed out, well written, and easy to understand. It might not be the best choice for someone who’s new to the roleplaying hobby, but in terms of playability, there’s nothing wrong here at all. In fact, this looks like a lot of fun.

I wish they had done something a little more elaborate with the cover art for the book, but I understand why they chose the cover art that they did. Usually I’m a fan of minimalist design, but in this case, it seems to take something away from the game.

The Hero System was originally designed to simulate superheroes, and it does that well. But it could easily simulate other genres too. It’s worth trying, if you’re looking for a reasonably crunchy RPG to try.

Especially if you like superheroes.

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Hibachi Rock in Allen, TX

June 12th, 2011

Hibachi Rock in Allen, Texas

I just returned from Hibachi Rock in Allen, TX. I had lunch there today with one of my buddies. And I thought that since I’d just eaten there, I should write a quick review of it for the blog here.

Hibachi Rock does not just serve hibachi food. That’s the first thing you should know about Hibachi Rock in Allen, TX. The next thing you should know is that the sushi and the sashimi at Hibachi Rock is EXCELLENT!

I’m on a low carb diet, but I’m also interested in eating healthy. So today I thought I’d go get some fish at lunch to get those Omega-3 fatty acids pumping through my bloodstream. So I went to Hibachi Rock in Allen, TX and ordered sashimi–smoked salmon, salmon, tuna, yellowtail tuna, and octopus. I also had some green tea, which I understand is something super-healthy that I should be drinking a lot more often. And I had a bowl of their clear onion soup.

Louie waited on us, and he was terrific. He was polite, helpful, and non-intrusive. In fact, I’ve never had a bad experience with the service at Hibachi Rock. My family and I eat there often enough that the owners and employees know us, and they usually speak to me by name.

And they deliver!

If you like Japanese food, and you live near Hibachi Rock in Allen, you should give it a try. Here’s their address:

Hibachi Rock
201 E. Bethany Dr
Allen, TX

Don’t be afraid to try some sushi dishes that you’ve never had before. Some of the items on their menu are unique to their restaurant, so you should give those a chance for sure. They’re some of the best items on the Hibachi Rock menu, in fact.

Hibachi Rock’s prices are reasonable too. They’re always having lunch specials, but the prices on their menu are reasonable to begin with.

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How to Become a Poker Pro

June 11th, 2011

Poker pros are a special breed of individuals with specialized skill sets. These people are sharp and they are smart, but there is more to it than that. For people looking to become poker pros, you need to build an appropriate bankroll, develop a bankroll management plan, and choose the proper venue, among other things.

Allocating the right bankroll amount

For people who truly want to make a living playing poker, the first step is to set aside enough capital to make that a reality. There are different opinions on how much money you need to become a poker pro, but most would say that it needs to be at least $10,000. This will give you enough to play in $2-$5 live games or to multi-table smaller stakes games online.

The key is to have enough money so that you can withstand variance. Even a winning player will go through some losing streaks just because the cards are not always kind. If you have enough money in your bankroll, you can ride out the rough patches and make enough money to survive.

The essentials of bankroll management

Developing a bankroll management plan is arguably the most important thing you can when you start your professional poker career. You must decide which stakes to play based upon how much money is in your bankroll. Standard advice is that your standard cash game buy-in should never be more than 3%-4% of your total bankroll. Tournament players should target those tourneys where the buy-in is in the 2% to 3% range.

It is also important to keep your personal finances and poker finances separate. Too many players allow those two categories to merge together. This can cause huge problems and can make you a less effective poker player. The following ideas are good ones for people looking to make this jump:

  • Set aside at least three months worth of living expenses separate from your poker bankroll.
  • Open a separate “business” bank account to keep track of your poker winnings.
  • Take a small percentage of money (10%-15%) out of your winnings each month and invest it in something safe.

The right venue is a must

You can become a live poker pro, but that will require moving to some place where live poker is legal. Las Vegas is the most popular place to make the jump and it is the place that offers the largest number of possible venues. You might also choose to be an online pro, and then you will need to choose the right site. The best sites provide prompt payouts and the largest selection of different games.

There are plenty of things to do if you want to become a serious poker pro. You have to have a patient approach, you must refine your game over the course of time, and you must become a master of your finances, too. Winnings players must also take care of their tax responsibilities when the winning is done. This is a challenge, but it’s one that can be done by people with the patience and the skills.

You can find more information about various poker sites here.

Posted in Advice, Entertainment, Gambling, Games | No Comments »

How to Start a Non Profit Organization

June 10th, 2011

How to Start a Nonprofit Organization

An organization that fulfills its mission, whether as a for-profit or not-for-profit, must have sound management, organization and governance to achieve maximum results. Starting a business requires careful planning and preparation to achieve relevance and effectiveness. Anyone who wants to learn how to start a non profit organization should follow certain steps towards positioning the organization for sustainable growth. These include 10 important tasks that will ensure the organization is focused on a vital mission that will produce high-quality programs and services for the community.

Define the Vision and Mission of the Non Profit Organization

The vision and mission statements should clearly articulate the reason your non profit will exist, and what will be accomplished. The vision expresses the values and beliefs that fuel the passion of the work and provides guidance for how the organization operates on a daily basis. The mission defines who will benefit from the organization’s work.

Recruit Members for the Board of Directors

This is often one of the most difficult tasks for establishing a non profit organization. Board members should have an interest in the organization’s purpose, have a willingness to work with a team, and make financial contributions to further the organization’s cause. You can benefit from selecting people who have a track record in the area of the organization’s focus. This brings expertise and insider knowledge, and helps to validate the organization’s reputation. This requires recruiting people beyond your immediate circle of influence. Ideally, board members should have expertise in legal, personnel management, business administration and financial planning.

It is important to let board members know what is expected before they agree to join. An ineffective board is counterproductive and will hinder the mission of the organization. Ideally, board members should help with fundraising and community awareness of why the non profit exists. They should also assist with establishing policies and fiscal strategies.

Certificate of Incorporation

The certificate (or articles) of incorporation is a written document of the legal formation for an organization. The organization’s name, primary headquarters and the overall purpose are included and filed with a state government office, generally the Secretary of State. The goals of the non profit should be stated in broad terms to allow flexibility for possible changes in the future.

Bylaws

The bylaws establish the rules for how the non profit is managed, determining the authority and decision making responsibilities of board members and staff, and how those responsibilities are fulfilled.

File for 501(c)(3)

Filing for 501(c)(3) with the IRS provides tax-exempt status from paying federal taxes and makes the donations tax deductible.

Recruit Paid and Volunteer Staff

You will need competent staff to carry out administrative and program functions effectively. Choose staff members who are organized, professional and committed to the mission of the organization. Establish a volunteer management system for recruiting, training and retaining volunteers to maximize the talents and skills of volunteers.

Develop a Fundraising Plan

Funding for your non profit should contain a mix of financial resources: direct mail requests, canvassing, telephone solicitations, special events, membership fees, and contributions from local businesses.

Knowing how to start a non profit organization requires a commitment to excellence and leadership that improves the quality of life within a community.

Posted in Advice, Finance | No Comments »